What You Need to Know Before You Have Brazilian Laser Hair Removal!

Hair:  It’s a fabulous accessory on your head, but not down below.  My mission was laser hair removal; to be more specific, Brazilian Laser Hair Removal.  Brazilian laser hair removal means the front, back and everything in-between, including the anus itself.  A “landing strip” is usually left in the front.   It can be almost invisible and it will be zapped. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about someone getting into every millimeter of my most intimate areas with a laser, but I was focused on being “smooth as a baby,” so I was excited.

I went to a Board Certified Dermatology office that specializes in various laser procedures.  It takes 6 treatments in intervals of 4 – 6 weeks for the hair to be gone forever.   I scheduled all of my appointments before getting started because I was fully committed to being silky smooth.  I stripped down and put on a white gown.  Carmen, the laser technician, came in and put some numbing cream on the area and talked to me for a few minutes about my heritage so she could decide what setting to use on the laser.  Before I knew it, I had my gown lifted up, my legs spread…she was zapping.  I felt like someone was skewering my va-j-j.    My commitment to smoothness was starting to waiver.  Smooth skin can’t be this important.  Tears ran down my cheeks.  Carmen reassured me that I would be fine as she continued to fry.  I begged her to lower the setting and she told me that it was at the lowest setting.  Then, she had me get on all fours.  I wasn’t expecting this.  My butt was sticking high  in the air – and I felt like she was lasering my liver.  I didn’t know the most inner part of the anus was part of this. I am not a very hairy person; I asked her if there was even hair there. She replied, “Just in case.”   All I know – it was burning.  I’ve given birth to four children and nothing felt like this.  I asked for ice on the way out and I was told that it wasn’t necessary.  I  cancelled lunch with my husband and drove straight home to sit on ice.   Its official… my crotch was on fire.  I called the office and Carmen said she should have used a lower setting.  Really?  Carmen explained that while she used the lowest setting for a person with a Scandinavian background, there are lower settings.   Are you kidding?  I knew I was being fried.  The “fire” left my desire for being “as smooth as a baby” and I cancelled the rest of my appointments. One thing I know for sure, I rather slice myself with a razor than to go through that again.  But I do like smooth skin, so I think I’m going to buy a home laser machine, so I can control the settings myself.  Will it work?  I’ll keep you posted.

xo,

Di

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